I was so happy this morning when our alarm went off just after 6 a.m. because I was just about to get attacked by an alligator in my dream. According to Dream Moods, seeing an alligator means:


To see an alligator in your dream symbolizes treachery, deceit, and hidden instincts. It may be a signal for you to take on a new perspective on a situation. It may also represent your ability to move between the physical, material world of waking life and the emotional, repressed world of the subconscious.  Alternatively, the alligator represents healing powers and qualities. An alligator also suggests that you are thick-skinned or insensitive.

Hmm, all very interesting and really have no idea what it means. “A new perspective on a situation” … not really sure what situation this is.

So anyways, I took my  insensitive self out for a run. I just did five miles and it felt good. I tried to push myself a little bit so that a harder pace can be my new sense of normal. Does it work like that? I hope so.

I always get nervous that I’m not pushing myself enough. Do I need to run harder? How will this impact my next race? What can I do to improve on time? I feel like I’m a steady runner, where I usually run the same pace throughout (maybe a little slower towards the end of the middle of my runs) but then fear that this means I’m not pushing myself enough.

I also fear that I don’t push myself hard enough in races. How do I know if I’ve reached that breaking point, that point before you just can’t give anymore? I’m not sure I’ve been there. I feel drained after races, but then the voice of doubt comes out and teases me by saying, “Are you sure that’s all you had to give?”

I really want to make sure I’m pushing myself in the Brooklyn Half in a few weeks. I’ve never run a half marathon seriously… I’ve always done it at the beginning of a marathon training plan to see how it feels. But I want to push myself in this race and PR. But I don’t want to push myself so hard that I can’t make it to the finish. The paradox of runners, I suppose.

Did you have any weird dreams last night? Any tips for pushing yourself, either in races or everyday runs? 

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