I, like most bloggers, get a kick out of what search terms lead people to my blog. Some of them are just plain bizarre (but not as crazy as the ones that Kara gets!). When I checked my recent search terms this weekend, this one caught my eye:
how to give your girlfriend an ultimatum to lose weight
First of all, I’m not the type of person that will ever give someone an ultimatum. If you give someone an ultimatum, you are making them choose between two things that are obviously important to them. This leads to unhappiness and resentment. Not a good idea.
Of course, weight and women is a touchy and tough subject. The last thing in the world that you want to hear is that your boyfriend thinks you are fat and needs to lose weight. Even if it’s true, there’s no easy way to say it. “Oh honey, how about you cut back on the sweets this week…” and “Sweetie, I’m not sure if you should wear those jeans these days…” will most likely result in the evil eye and cold shoulder.
So, some advice. If you want your girlfriend or wife or loved one to lose weight, don’t give them an ultimatum. Don’t tell them they’re fat or chunky or beefy. But, here are some ideas of what you can do:
- Make it into a challenge. Most people will respond to a challenge and be excited at the opportunity to win or work towards something. Encourage them to train and run for a 5K or to join a group fitness class. In return, you’ll treat them to a spa day or finally buy them that handbag they’ve been eyeing up.
- Do it TOGETHER. If you need to lose weight, it doesn’t seem so bad when you are in it with someone. (I think that’s why I love reading blogs so much! I know I’m not alone.) Suggest that you start running together or start doing another exercise together. Go for a walk after dinner, find a hiking trail to enjoy on the weekend. It gives you a chance to enjoy quality time AND exercise.
- Be a supporter, not a gloater. It’s SO hard to try to eat and live healthy when your significant other is living a completely different life. When you see your boyfriend or girlfriend sitting on the couch lounging and snacking on some delicious food, it makes it a lot harder to gear up and hit the workout equipment or streets. If you are with someone who has a weight-loss goal, be a supporter. Give them the time they need to exercise — do the laundry, clean the bathroom, etc. Make it a little easier for them to avoid the junk food (not saying you have to hide in the bathroom to eat your Funyuns, but don’t rub it in their face).
- Give it time. Losing weight is a challenge that comes with many ups and downs. There will be good days and bad days. Your loved one isn’t going to lose weight overnight… so you need to be patient and supportive. There will be days where too much ice cream will be eaten and diets will be broken. But, there will also be days when goals are met and pounds are shed. Be there for BOTH times and provide a little extra inspiration for the journey.
What are your tips for significant others/friends to help their loved ones lose weight? Have you ever had anyone say you were fat in a really rude way?
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