Yesterday when I was trucking through my five mile run at a not-very-fast pace, I started thinking about my goal at the end of August at the Santa Rosa Marathon. To finally break 3:30. 

For background, I have been trying to hit this goal for years. I first came close in 2010 when I stunned myself with a 3:31.44 at the NYC Marathon (previously PR was 3:40.47), and since then, have been going between that time and 3:40ish in most of my marathons. I did not take training that seriously when we lived in NYC, it was hard to with the crazy lifestyle that we had going on. I ditched the GPS watch (took too long to find the satellite) and stopped tracking my time and pace. 

I started getting back into it more so when we moved to TX, but I feel like I have a long ways to go until I can hit that goal. I have to reverse four years of pretty bad training, conquer my terrible eating habits and do all of this in a matter of months. 

Can I really do it? 

A month ago, the day after the Boston Marathon, I would have told you yes.

crazyrunninggirl.bostonmarathon4

 

Today?

I’m not so sure.

Doubt, it’s a funny thing.

It enters your mind and you can’t seem to squelch it. The voice gets louder and louder, until you aren’t sure where you stand. I feel like it’s often easier to go to a place of doubt rather than one of success, because it can be that much easier. It’s easier to rationalize (obviously with a goal you’ve never done before) and it feels comfortable. 

 

crazyrunninggirl.doubt

 

I feel like this training cycle will be filled with doubt and fear, the next three months will probably be a rollercoaster of emotion (thanks in advance to listening to it all), but I think most importantly, I need to work on having the positive mindset that YES, I CAN DO IT. And everything else will fall into place. A positive attitude goes so much further than anything else. 

 

Do you doubt yourself? How so? 

Have you ever conquered doubt? What are some ways that you did it? 

 


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