The past few months, I’ve been talking a little bit about how much of a struggle it has been to enjoy my runs. I don’t have a problem getting out there and getting started, it’s just a matter of hitting my stride while I’m running and loving what I’m doing.
The trip to Seattle with the RunHappy Ambassador crew helped quite a bit, those ladies are so very inspirational! But before long, I felt like I was back to trudging through the workouts. Getting them in because the training plan said so, and because I have a marathon on the calendar, but not really loving the process.
After running for the past 15+ years, it was kind of a scary feeling. I know, it’s just running, but it’s a huge part of my life. In some ways, I always fear that there will be a day where I’ll stop loving running like I did peanut butter (sorry, PB, I don’t know how to explain). Hence why I’m not sure I’ll ever get a running tattoo.
But, I didn’t feel like the time was now or coming up so fast… but I started to wonder. As I struggled through workout after workout, fell more in love with OTF, was I started to find that my love for running was dwindling?
I started wondering if it was because I took some time off from vacation.
Maybe the heat and humidity was draining me to the point where I couldn’t enjoy running?
Perhaps I just overdid it with all the races I’ve been running recently.
Last weekend’s long run was a big nail in the coffin. It was terrible! Partially because I didn’t prepare the right way, but partially because my body wasn’t in to it. I don’t think I’ve ever walked so much during a long run. I felt so defeated and had no idea what this weekend’s run was going to bring. On top of that, with the clock ticking down until the Santa Rosa Marathon, I started panicking that there was no way I was going to get the time I want.
So, inevitably, I woke up for this weekend’s long run and the first thought I had was, this sucked. I’m so sick of waking up early to run. As I got ready for the run, I kept telling myself that maybe I wouldn’t do some of the fall races I planned. Maybe I need to break up with running… give myself some time off, let myself sleep in and just scale back.
Between then and when I walked out the door, something changed (maybe there’s magic in the PROBAR Bolts that I eat pre-run?) From the moment I hit the trail, I wanted to go and was ready for the 15 miles in front of me. I felt focused and my body felt into it – a feeling I haven’t had for quite a while. I looked down at my watch around miles 6, 9, 11 and was impressed with what my legs were churning out.
Could this be it? Am I finally over my brief “we need a break” phase?
I walked into the apartment and thought, that run freaking rocked.
I feel like I have a renewed fire, an intensity that I’ve been lacking. But, I am a little hesitant… could this really be all that I needed to get jazzed up for running again? A great long run, to help me get my fire back?
I hope so. Because I’m not ready to break up with running.
Running – love it or hate it?
Have you ever “broken up” with running?
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