This is the second in my series about finding balance in 2016… read the first HERE and enjoy this one, followed by the other areas where I’ve found balance this year, over the next few Thursdays.
They say that vampires don’t exist, but I’d beg to differ.
They don’t exist in the sense that they have large fangs and diamond-like skin.
But they do.
These are the sneaky vampires. The ones that suck your energy, your time, your value.
They tend to hit when least expect it because they are quite savvy.
Suddenly you wake up one day and you start thinking about what your relationship looks like with this person, and the fact that you feel more exhausted by them than exhilarated (which is how I think you should feel when you spend time with those that you love). That they tend to drain you with their “woe is me” stories and their pity parties that they only seem to want to invite you to.
Mostly because you are the only one who hasn’t realized that they are indeed a vampire.
So a big part of my year has been recognizing who these energy vampires are. And cutting them out of my life.
Which is harder than it seems because just like in fiction and folk stories, as soon as a vampire knows they are losing a victim, they tend to hold on a little tighter and become a little bit nicer – which makes you wonder if you were wrong all along about them.
But no, you weren’t.
Like I said, I finally realized that I had a good amount of energy vampires in my life that were sucking my energy, time and value and making it hard for me to spend time with those that truly did matter. This was a key component in starting to find balance this year.
How do you recognize an energy vampire?
I can say it’s easy now, but in reality, it took me a bit to realize that sometimes people have a really great ability to turn everything into a story about them.
Energy vampires are generally the people that only reach out to you if they need something; otherwise, you are always initiating the conversation. And that conversation? Not really sure you can call it that; it will likely be a one-sided monologue about how great their life is (or on the flip-side, how terrible everything is and expect you to join the pity party).
They are the ones who always seem to one-up you when you have something great (or terrible) going on in your life, instead of giving you a hug and a congratulations.
Even when they seem to be acting like a friend, it’s just that: acting. They are getting something out of it; mostly trying to keep you captive in this weird relationship so that they can use you when they need you in the future.
It sounds terrible, diabolical and frankly, a little unbelievable – but it’s true and energy vampires are in your life whether you want to believe it.
Cutting them out isn’t easy either. After all, they are used to using you as their sounding board; their person to boost them up and given them the energy that they need to get through their day. Luckily with things like blocking phone numbers and Facebook, it makes it a lot easier.
But the most important thing? You need to be ready for it. And that might be the hardest part of it all… getting to that point where you can walk away and not feel a thing. But it’s so very worth it.
Do you have any energy vampires in your life? Have you cut some out of your life?
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