I don’t know if it’s the nature of being from the Midwest or what, but I have the worst ability to say no in the world. I guess you could say that it’s one of my weaknesses, and despite knowing that (and working on that for the past few years), I still struggle at being able to say no.
I remember when I was in high school and people would invite me to do stuff like see a movie or hang out at their house and I really didn’t want to, I’d ask my dad what I should say… his response? Just tell them no. I would try to figure out how I could build an excuse in because to me, saying no just sounded rude.
This has morphed in recent years where I’ve done a solid job of getting rid of the things in my life that I don’t want to dedicate the little time I have to, but in return, I’m surrounded by a LOT of things I do want to do. And there’s something about saying no to something that I want to be able to do that gives me a sense of failure, as well as a sense of FOMO.
I realize that you can’t do it all, and this is such a struggle. For instance, I missed writing my daily blog for the first half of this week and it makes me feel like I’m failing at life. Mostly because it’s a commitment that I have to you, and to myself, and not doing it makes me feel like I’m not showing up.
However, earlier this week, I shared this quote:
And I’ve learned that sometimes you need to put things into perspective… and understand where your priorities are. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), there will always be people and things who are more important than others in your life, and it’s not a bad thing. It’s like when you realize that there are people in this world that just aren’t going to like you. It’s a little bit refreshing.
With the holiday season just around the corner, learning how to a) say no and b) prioritize are essential to enjoying this time of year and not getting so stressed out. I feel like our society has turned this time of year into crisis mode for so many people as we try to fit everything in and make our homes look like the best rendition of Pinterest.
Saying no is an art. And it’s a strength.
Learning how to do that — and figuring out how to prioritize the things and people that are most important to you — can kill the stress and make life so much more enjoyable.
As much as I know that, I know that it’s also a work in progress for myself. I think half the battle is just being aware of how good you are at doing one or both of these things, and what you could do to improve. Unfortunately, I don’t have a magic list of what you can do to master it… but all I can say is that being aware of it goes a long way.
So there you have it, my random thinking out loud post for this Thursday!
Are you good at saying no? And prioritizing?
Do you feel like you get stressed out this time of year?
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